Saturday 24 December 2011

Tis The Season.....

Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, have a blissful Soyaluna and enjoy a very intoxicated Las Posadas everybody!

And now a word from our god....our sponsors
I love the December holidays.  Sure, the weather drops to below freezing and my glasses fog up every time I walk into a warm building, but it’s worth it.  There is nothing like sitting at home with a nicely mixed jack and coke with feet kicked up on the couch while the fireplace is crackling in the background.  Not only that, but I get to make fun of people who wear ridiculous holiday outfits as well as convincing people to try my newly improved “lemon sherbet.”  It truly is the season to be jolly.

Sunday 18 December 2011

MVT



Let’s act like we’re being original here.

HAS ANYONE ELSE NOTICED THAT TIM TEBOW HAS WON A BUNCH OF GAMES!?

Friday 9 December 2011

UPDATE! MY PREDICTIONS WERE MOSTLY SHIT!

UPDATE!

If you can't recall, I made some shit-housed predictions a couple months ago that turned out horribly. I could make the excuse that I was drunk, but I won't. I meant what I said.  At the time they sounded good, but now I can see why people laugh when I tell them I want a bookie (I only have two kneecaps).
My predictions are also pissed on

Thursday 8 December 2011

Untitled

Don't worry, we have zero baggage fees!

I’m not even going to put a title for this article.  This NBA is a fucking mess.  Less than an hour into signing the papers making everything official to open training camps tomorrow, the NBA vetoed a trade that sent Chris Paul to the Lakers.  Less than thirty minutes into the trade going live, David Stern and his infinite wisdom pulled the plug on the deal, stating this is not the message to send coming off the heels of the lockout. 

Ohhh boy.  The NBA really fucked this one up.

New Orleans is owned by the NBA.  The NBA has the right to veto any personnel move within the league.  Really? Where were you guys during the Melo-drama last year? Remember the whole Lebron James/Chris Bosh incident? Well where were you for that? This trade did not break any rules, was fair on paper, and was orchestrated by New Orleans.  Vetoing this trade makes every inch of respect I gained this summer for the league fly right out the window and here’s why:

David Stern stated that he vetoed the deal because the owner’s felt the players New Orleans were receiving weren’t up to par.  Are you kidding me?  Giving up an All-NBA all-star and reigning 6th man of the year winner (whom might I add always drew speculation that if he was starting he could produce all-star numbers) for another all-star is a pretty sweet deal considering CP3 was bound to leave New Orleans.  Look me in the eye and tell me that the Chris Bosh sign-n-trade deal to Miami was more fair than this?  If you want to veto this I expect every trade for Chris Paul vetoed till he leaves New Orleans and signs with L.A or New York, making this whole veto deal useless.
I'd be pretty pissed off too if I found out my trip to the beach was cancelled 
Davis Stern also stated that he vetoed the trade because he didn’t want Chris Paul orchestrating where he would end up.  I want to add that I had to take a deep breath of air to write the next couple of lines, that’s how frustrating this whole scenario is to me as an NBA fan.  Did anybody here watch that ESPN special a couple years back, The Decision?  Did you happen to catch the Melo-drama from last year? Carmelo told Denver to trade him to New York.  Carmelo essentially took out his laptop, opened Microsoft Word, and wrote a script for how he would end up in New York.  LeBron literally did what I hypothetically said Carmelo Anthony did with his TV special.  Chris Paul never orchestrated this, he declined an offer from the Hornets, and the Hornets opened up trade talks.  What happens next should be history, but of course David Stern and his greedy pockets thought otherwise.
If LeBron didn't orchestrate this, then who did? Aliens.
As I said, the NBA proudly owns the New Orleans Hornets.  That’s smart; let a financially depriving league own a financially deprived franchise with their biggest asset becoming a free agent in the pending months.  If the NBA owns the Hornets, why would they open up trade talks to begin with? They must have told Hornets GM Dell Demps to find a deal that works and he did.  Demps must be mortified about how this turned out, however, Chris Paul is most likely set to explode.  By letting the owners discuss and pressure David Stern to veto this trade, every trade from now on for Paul will be vetoed because the owners now know they have some power.  Regardless of the owners power, every trade for CP3 should be vetoed if this one is going to be vetoed.  Technically no trade is going to benefit both sides, New Orleans is clearly going to be on the short end of the trade unless they can swap for Deron Williams, but they cant.  By the NBA’s logic, the only way to snag Paul is to offer more than just one all star and a borderline all star (Lamar was in the all-star talk last year).  Lets see another team come up with that package and is willing to pull the trigger. 

Wasn’t the whole point of the lockout to help small market teams? For once, the small market teams were winning this deal.  LeBron’s deal did not help the small market Cavaliers, and what did Bosh help the Raptors get? Hedo Mutherfucking Turkoglu? Paul’s trade gave two small market teams a legit chance to build after losing their superstars, with Houston losing Yao and the Hornets CP3.  The Rockets got Gasol, a night in and night out fundamental machine while New Orleans got Odom, Scola, Martin and Dragic, all four consitent players that would be great to start any rebuilding process.

Vetoing this trade made every future trade in this league that much harder to pull.  Rumor has it Paul wants to sue the NBA and is looking into legal action.  There are also rumors going around that he will bail on training camp tomorrow until this mess is sorted out.  However, one thing is certain: The NBA is a fucking mess, go back to the drawing board guys.
MY SHINNY ORANGE BALL! SEE IT HAS MY NAME ON IT!
Also, fucking Phil Jackson was able to predict this a year ago.  Clearly he is the wisest man in Basketball’s history.  When asked what he thought of the NBA purchasing the Hornets and how it relates to Chris Paul:

"Who’s going to pull the button on it?" Jackson asked. "When Chris [Paul] says he has to be traded, how’s that going to go? … Someone’s going to have to make a very nonjudgmental decision on that part that’s not going to irritate anyone else in the league."