Yes, I know were a day late, but what do you expect from a bunch of drunken baboons. Did you really think we would waste our Halloween weekend trying to come up with posts for you guys to read? That’s what I thought. Like your professors, we have lives outside of our work believe it or not, and in our lives we live for two things: Booze and Pussy
That’s why Halloween weekend is one of the best drinking holidays created by man, it combines chugging down your favorite Whisky so you can get 'terrorist drunk' and while trying to wheel skanky bitches. It’s definitely up there for best drinking holiday in terms of ranks. It may not have St. Pattys Day beat, but its closing in on Mexican ‘ciesta’s and every other Jewish holiday involving Manischewitz. You know you have a good drinking holiday when Sailor Moon can have a conversation with a white Mr. T, or when girls can be whatever they please just by adding “sexy” to the title of their costume. I don’t have a problem with this, do you?
How does this relate to sports? I’ll be honest with you, it doesn’t. I needed an intro to this post, and there you have it. In honor of Halloween, I’ve decided to dig into the vault of famous athletes and see if I can find some ridiculous Halloween costumes, but hopefully nothing as ridiculous as this:
let’s all gather around and make fun of rich and famous athletes who cant come up with better costume ideas or materials the broke university students
Shaquille O’Neal as: some sorta girl?
To be honest I have no idea who Shaq is trying to impersonate here. At first glance, this picture reminds me of those pro-line sport gut commercials. I’m more concerned with who that short guy is, he kinda looks like a grey curly haired Eddie Murphy with bling. Shaq, never try to dress up as a girl again, you don’t have the shoulders to pull it off.
Ryan Sweeny as: a devil bitch?
Again, I don’t really know where he is going with this. Although he doesn’t look the part, he sure has the attire and accessories to pull off looking like a girl: sunglasses to block the face, always on his phone, pretend wand to wish the bad things out of your life, pepperoni boobs, and I bet you he has his daddy’s credit card inside that ‘murse.
Ron Artest (Metta World Peace) as: a Japanese Geisha
Step right up folks; the man who’s crazy enough to change his name has officially decided to change his views on sex! Cum one and cum all……Alright that’s enough of that. He looks like he’s having a lot of fun out there, but with his attention span, I bet you can show him your Hot Wheels collection and he’ll be in awe.
Ricky Williams as: your loving bride to be
Dennis Rodman, meet Ricky Williams. It scares me to look at this picture; Ricky Williams wins the scariest costume contest
Jeff Gordon as: a one-night stand.
Well-done Jeff. By far the cleverest costume I’ve seen from an athlete, especially from a NASCAR driver. We all know that NASCAR drivers aren’t exactly the sharpest tools in the shed; to be honest I’m not sure if half of his fans understood the costume, but gosh am I impressed with this. I may have to steal this idea for next year.
Rudy Gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that) as: the better Michael Jackson
Rudy Gay’s got some moves yo! I doubt he was strutting his stuff this year after the surgery on his left shoulder, but I approve of this costume. Hundred bucks say’s that they pulled off the Thriller dance in the same night.
Jonathan Toews and Adam Burish as: Harry and Lyod
Mock…Yeah. Ing…..Yeah….. Ok we all know the bit, but i'm handing out mad props for this costume. It’s clever, funny, and makes me look back at one of the best movies of all time. This one time, I heard Harry cross bread a Pit-bull with a Shih Tzu. They called it Bullshit.
JTU
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