GUILLEN WATCH!

All season DGS will be committed to presenting you with all you need to know about Ozzie Guillen's hi-jinks. Will he swear on national television? Will he win a hot-dog eating contest? Honestly, who the hell knows? Stay tuned for the latest and greatest.

Ozzie Guillen apologized for making pro-Fidel comments. The result? A five game suspension will be enforced by the team. I have no idea who this appeases, but I can only assume nobody. The season is less than 10 games in and we already have him giving props to Communist dictators. A five game suspension means shit all here. Ozzie is sympathetic towards the Cuban population of Miami, not ownership. You're in for it, Miami.

The Miami Marlins need find a fan base quick to fill their 500 million dollar stadium. Ozzie's antics may just be the thing they need. However, something tells me this is the wrong direction.

Team Status: Promising

Level of Regret in Management: Moderate

Ozzie’s Disposition: Restrained glee, with a hint of regret

Next Stunt Prediction: I would say something involving a hot-air balloon. Not sure why.